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Famous quotes by Doctor
Leon
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| “The theory that Men know
absolutely nothing about women, is the first and only theory in
psychology that will ever become scientific ‘law,’ because it is
the only theory in psychology that can be proven. Just ask any
woman.” |
“God was the original
manufacturer of weapons of mass destruction. She named these
devastating weapons ‘Man.’” |
“A few of us attempt to
reinvent the wheel because we may someday travel to places where
the wheel doesn’t work. Most people though feel more comfortable
just planning to stay home forever.” |
| “Man is capable of discovering all the secrets of the universe, and
would have by now if there weren’t so many psychologists
around to persuade us that we can’t or shouldn’t, and women around
to distract us from it.” |
“Anyone
who believes they have a solid grasp on reality should listen to
Steven Wright for an hour. That should send them back to square
one.” |
“When someone gives me
false information, they are lying. If they don’t know the
information is false, they are either ignorant or psychologists;
but they are still lying.” |
| “Every human being is
uniquely different. That is a fundamental truth all psychologists
ignore while attempting to prove their theories of human behavior
– and the obvious reason they will always fail.” |
“Teamwork is a modern
metaphor for institutional welfare whereby incompetent employees
are assisted involuntarily by the competent ones in retaining
their jobs. Business refers to this concept as TQM.” |
“Someone should pay me for doing
this, but I guess in the long run
somebody will probably pay me not to.” |
| “Life would be a lot easier on
all of us if the Rorschach Inkblot test was multiple choice.” |
“Women
rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet.
When they do, and they will, we’re all in big, big trouble.” |
“Some mass delusions
tend to inspire positive value systems which may benefit society, so in that
context I suppose religion
might serve a useful purpose.” |
| “Ockham did not say ‘The
simplest explanation is the one most likely to be true,’ some
idiotic psychologist made that up. Unfortunately, people tend to believe
anything . . . ” |
“Over seven years ago I asked
an astute psychology student to provide even one example of a
positive effect psychology has had on society. I’m still waiting
for an answer.” |
“There was a time when
people felt good about themselves because they accomplished something
positive. Now, thanks to psychologists, the only thing anyone
needs to feel good about themselves is to be fat.” |
| “It is probable that most people in
the world would be entirely normal if psychiatrists and
psychologists stopped inventing new mental illnesses for
everyone to suffer from.” |
“We don’t license
magicians, astrologers, fortune tellers and politicians, so why
the hell do we license psychologists?” |
“The modern workplace is the greatest catalyst for
hypocrisy ever conceived. On second thought, make that the second
greatest. The first is the field of politics.” |
| “The
DSM-IV is a delusional minefield used by mental health
pseudo-professionals who do infinitely more damage to
society than good. Mother Goose is more credible than the DSM-IV.” |
“Why should all men feel guilty because Freud fantasized about
boinking his mother? I never felt that way about mine, and I never had
a friend who felt that way about his. On the other hand . . . how I felt about some of my
friends’ mothers . . . ” |
“One thing is certain about psychiatrists; they do love to quote each other - much the same
way Charles Manson
quotes Hitler to make a point.” |
| “Psychology was originally developed to provide a career field for people totally lacking in math skills. Have you ever heard of Freud giving a lecture
on Algebra? I rest my
case.” |
“When you desire to understand the true nature
of man and his motivations, read Desmond Morris.” |
“It was demoralizing when I discovered my nine-year-old
knew more than me about computers, but when I found out he knew more about sex too, that was
a definite ego buster.” |
| “There is no shame in
failure, only hunger, stress and the consequential loss of all
female companionship.” |
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Famous quotes by
influential personalities
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“Menopause is what you
call it when a woman finally decides to treat her husband the
same way he has treated her for years.”
– Lisa Shields |
“Pay
no attention to what the critics say; no statue has ever been
erected to a critic.”
–
Jean Sibelius
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“Doctor Freud is probably the biggest
kook I ever met. But he sure is fun at a party when he’s
drunk.”
– Albert Einstein |
“Wind chimes are made
for stupid people so they will know when there’s a breeze.”
–
Steven Wright |
“The world is a tragedy
to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”
– Horace Walpole |
“Some mornings it just
doesn’t pay to wake up and chew through the straps.”
– Emo Phillips (from one of his more upbeat days) |
“A man with an
experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument.”
– Rod Walford |
“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.
It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”
– Isaac Asimov |
“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your
sources.”
– Albert Einstein |
“God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a
time.”
– Robin Williams |
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
– Albert Einstein |
“The nice thing about egotists is that they
don’t talk about other people.”
– Lucille S. Harper |
“Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles
psychiatrists. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.”
– Flannery O’Connor |
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that
one’s work is terribly important.”
– Bertrand Russell |
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and
I’m not sure about the former.”
– Albert Einstein |
“Psychologists who
undertake to set themselves up as judges in the field of truth and knowledge
are shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods.”
– Albert Einstein |
“What’s the good of having patients if you
can’t make fun of them?”
– Dr. Frazier Crane |
“Management must smother
individualism in the workplace. Any employee who refuses to
sacrifice everything for ‘the company’ should be fired.”
– W. Edwards Deming |
“We need to hire more
industrial psychologists. Management always needs a scapegoat for
their own incompetence.”
– W. Edwards Deming |
“Why is it that when we talk to God
we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re
schizophrenic?”
– Lily Tomlin |
“Freud is the only living human outside the Baptist church who continues to take man seriously.”
– Zelda Fitzgerald |
“I am actually not at all a man of science, not an observer, not an experimenter, not a thinker. I am by
nature nothing more than a good story-teller.”
– Sigmund Freud |
“Psychoanalysis all seems to me a false working-up, and an inducement to hysteria and insanity.”
– D. H. Lawrence |
“The problem is that
most psychology courses teach what is wrong.”
– W. Edwards Deming |
“It is much more
comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have
one’s doubts.”
– G. B. Burgin |
“What Freud says about the unconscious sounds like science but in fact is just
one more of his cocaine induced fantasies.”
– Ludwig Wittgenstein |
“There is one word
which I consider the key to understanding Freud’s thought
processes. That word is lunacy.”
– Norman O. Brown |
“Over the past thirty-five years repeated reviews of the literature have failed to show any solid evidence that psychoanalytic therapy is superior to placebo
therapy.”
– Hines |
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to
ruin a schizophrenic’s day.”
– Leo Buscaglia |
“It still strikes me as strange that the
fictional case histories I write should
be taken so seriously by my peers.”
– Sigmund Freud |
“Psychoanalysis is not so much a question of science as a matter of taste, Dr. Freud being an artist who lives in the fairyland of dreams among the ogres of perverted sex.”
– J. M. Cattell |
“What is so galling about
Freud’s dream theory - why many are tempted to call it unscientific, pseudoscientific, or antiscientific
- is that it succeeded far out of proportion to the strength of
any evidence in its favor.”
– Patricia Kitcher |
“There is not one study which one could point to with confidence and
say, “Here is definitive support of this or that Freudian
notion.”
– H.J. Eysenck and
G.D. Wilson |
“Let the credulous and the vulgar continue to believe that all mental woes can be cured by a daily application of old Greek myths to their private parts.”
– Vladimir Nabokov |
“Freud’s research in his field proves an extraordinary gift and capacity for guiding scientific
investigators into dead ends.”
– R. von Krafft-Ebing |
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